Chapter 3. Buckets

Aw Jeeze. I have a nice moldy fava bean already, like a tiny white poodle curled up to sleep in a tiny fairy garden.

I used to love the Borrowers. If they had a tiny computer, they could read this blog, could follow it and add lots of suggestions for me, like productive uses for the little color-coded ring on the top of a plastic milk jug, or for the lovely little glass bottles that dog vaccinations come in. In the meantime, I'm heading to a couple grocery stores tomorrow (Happy MLK Day!) to see if they have any of the food-grade five-gallon white plastic buckets. One of those'd be a whole condominium building for the Borrowers, or a city water supply.

Miniature people notwithstanding, here's the plan. Mooch about ten or twelve buckets. Sink them about 2/3 of the way into the ground, up to where the rings start going around the tops:

If I bury the rings around the top third, how can I pull the buckets back out again when I get tired of them, or when I want to empty out their dirt to be replaced with fresh? The thing is, I'd like the seedlings to be mostly "underground," cooling their little plant heels; therefore, I will surround each bucket with a dirt hill, making a mound out of excess soil from The Main Hole. Plant in them some viny things, like summer squash and honeydew and Armenian cukes.

And why would I do this crazy bunch of work when I can just plant my plants in the buckets, above ground? All the magazine articles say that container gardening is THE BOMB!

Simple. Here in Northern California, we get some hot summers, Baby. The hotter those veggie roots get, the less likely they are to thrive and produce. Gotta bury them in nice cool shady dirt! 

Wait! Why would I do this crazy bunch of work when I can just plant my plants in the ground?

Well....because there's a drought. I don't want to water the dirt that has nothing in it but Tiny Unsanitary Rotting Earthworm Carcasses. 

See how that works?

Chapter 2. The Seedlings

Time to start the plants that will go into the holes.

For zero money, I have started the following seeds, which I've had stashed for between one and twenty years. We shall see which ones can stand the test of time. They have been kept in a dry closet so I bet most of them come up.

     red leaf lettuce, 1984!
     bright lights chard, 2004 (up on Jan. 24!)
     red chard, undated but I think from last year (up on Jan. 23!)
     peas, 2008 (up through the dirt Jan. 21!)
     spinach, 1998
     big rainbow toms, 1998
     basil, 1988, and it's all in Italian!
     green beans, 2006 (up on Jan. 25)
     parsley, 1989
     chives, 1984!
     rhubarb, 1998
     fava beans, 2000
     alpine strawberries, 1998
     sweet peas, 1996 and 2006

I had saved the packaging from Costco apples knowing that it would come in handy for something; sure enough, I think it will make pretty convenient little greenhouses for baby veggie plants.

It was certainly easy and cheap enough to fill them with potting soil and seeds that have been around here for awhile. I have a LOT of ripe homemade compost to plant them in later on, and it needs to be used this year, much like most of the seeds.

So far, I find it frustrating that the seeds have been in their tiny perfect greenhouses for nearly three days and are failing to erupt into fabulous lush junior plants! But I have my fingers crossed that soon enough, The Asshat will be watering them for me. If he doesn't? Well, I'll have to rely on bathwater and laundry water, both of which will be totally suitable after I get in my first load of soapnuts (sapindus).

I do need to dig some more of The Main Waterhole today, but I see that I haven't allowed for the displaced soil. I have to do some more thinking today.

The main problem with doing things one's own way is the thinking. There has to be a lot of it.